Guests arrived in full vampire regalia, capes billowing, collars reaching astronomical heights, and expressions of deep, ancestral disdain for anything modern. The castle doors creaked open dramatically (not on purpose, they just do that), welcoming all into a world of shadowy grandeur.
Inside, the night unfolded with absolute decadence—vampire yoga commenced, with guests attempting to hang upside down like bats, only for several to require assistance getting back up. Very dignified. The shibari art demonstrations were both exquisite and deeply confusing, as some guests discovered it is much easier to get tied up than to get untied.
Then came the feast—though nobody actually ate, of course. The wine flowed freely, and vampire cocktails were served with an air of mystery (and an alarming lack of ingredient disclosure). A duel broke out over who had the most ancient and important lineage—the deciding factor, ultimately, being who could deliver the longest, most unnecessary monologue in a single breath.